Friday, May 24, 2013

Everyone Knows Best


I will admit that I am no expert when it comes to raising a child with Ds. We are only 6 months into this and we are constantly learning new things everyday. However, I do think that my smidgen of experience coupled with living this life gives me a leg up on those that have no clue. So why do people like to tell me what's best for Camden and what he won't do in the future? I guess these folks have crystal balls that I don't know about. For the most part people have been super supportive and very positive, but every once in a while a comment comes along that just gets under my skin. It doesn't help that I'm an overly sensitive person who cries at everything. This makes it so much worse. I never say anything in return because I honestly don't feel that these individuls are maliciously trying to say something rude. I think things just fly out of people's mouths before they think about it. I have been guilty of this numerous times. I seriously need to get some thicker skin because I know this will continue to be an issue for the rest of our lives. 

"He probably won't graduate from highschool."     Why not? fact a lot of individuals with Ds graduate from highschool and some continue on to a secondary education. I have no reason at this point to believe that Camden won't do the same. Honestly, I am just trying to survive the week and thinking about his teenage years is not on my mind right now. Have I thought about it? I absolutely have. It's just not something I want to worry about right now. I believe that Camden can do anything he sets his mind to. We will not limit him. Our expectations will be high just as they are for our other sons. All I can do as a mom is provide him with the tools, love and support he needs to thrive and flourish. 

"You will have to take care of him for the rest of your lives."   He is my son. If he needs to live with us and have us take care of him forever, then so be it. However, like I mentioned above, I have no reason to think this will be the case. Times are changing for those with Ds and I feel it will only continue to improve. Many adults with Ds are employed, live in group homes or with friends, and get married. If this is what is in the cards for Camden then that's awesome. If it's not, that will be awesome too. I'm the type of person who would want her kids to live with her for as long as possible because I would get empty nest syndrome. I know of several "normal" adults who live with their parents but we don't talk about that for some reason.

"I think your baby is sick. Why haven't you taken him to the doctor?" As much as I repeatedly say "he's not sick", it's not good enough. People must think I'm the world's worst mom because I take my "sick" baby out everywhere. I always get the looks. Folks, he just happens to be a snorter. Reflux combined with tiny nasal passages equals constant congestion. So when he sounds like a little piggy, I promise you he's not sick and I don't need to waste my time with a trip to the doctor. I do appreciate people's concerns, but I think I know my son. 

These are just a few of the things said to me recently. I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. I have learned after having Camden to never judge anyone or pretend that I'm an expert on other people's lives. I simply want to take care of my own family the best I can. 


  1. Yup, people can be rude! And why would they care if he graduates or not? Is that going to be the biggest deal ever, not really. And "taking care of him forever", um ya, that's what parents do. We help our children out for however long they need it because we love them! I could care less if Russell lives with us forever. Big deal!

    See comments like that are what bothers me as well. People would not say things like that about my other children, so what makes them think they have the right to speculate on Russell's future?

    1. Exactly Jenny! Has anyone ever said that about my 3 year old? Nope! What's crazy is that I would never say that about anyone's child! I say stupid things, but I'm positive I would never tell someone their child will never graduate. Like you said...we are parents and we take care of our children for however long they need it. Ds or not! Ugh...I need to toughen up. ;)

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