Saturday, December 28, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
"Is he crawling?" NO
"Is he pulling up?" NO
"Is he standing or taking steps?" Ummm...no not really
"Is he saying dadadada or mamamama?" No, he only says babababa and screams or grunts
"Is he picking things up with his thumb and pointer finger?" No....dangit!
I'm sure you can assume how the rest of the questions went. It just really got to me for some reason. I already knew he couldn't do these things, but having to say no after every single question just made me upset. I wasn't upset with them, I was mad at myself. I started to doubt my parenting skills. Am I doing enough? Every once in a while the annoying "you're not doing enough" monster visits me and I feel incredibly guilty. I know he gets therapy, but it's up to me to follow through with these exercises everyday. Well, I have a confession to make. I don't do what I'm supposed to do a lot of the time. Sometimes we have so much going on that we aren't even home. Then when we are at home, I find myself busy with cleaning or other things. If I'm going to be completely honest, sometimes I just don't want to do it. I want to hold him and cuddle him. I want to play with him and not worry about all those exercises we are supposed to do. I know for a fact that Richard doesn't do therapy with him when I'm at work. He also wants to hold him and cuddle him, and that's okay with me. Is it really okay though? Don't misunderstand, I do work with him. I just don't think I work with him enough. How do you moms who work full time do it all? I can't even manage it working part time. While I sit here feeling sorry for myself, I also realize that it's my own fault. I suppose I just don't want to spend the free time we have "working". I assume that he will get there eventually, right? Ugh...like I said, I just needed to get some things off my chest.
The good news at the appointment was that he did gain a little weight and now weighs 17 pounds and 3 ounces and is 28.5 inches long. His pediatrician told me where he was on the growth charts, but honestly I didn't listen to that part because Camden has always been on his own growth curve. I was just happy that he gained weight! All in all his pedi was impressed. I'm the only one who left the appointment feeling defeated. Sigh. Tomorrow is a new day!
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Thursday, December 5, 2013
I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that it's already a whole year later since Camden was born. I know I keep saying that, but it is still so surreal to me. This time last year I was driving back and forth to the NICU twice a day to spend time with him, crying my eyes out in between, was 2 hours away from my husband, and was trying to keep it together for Carter. That was honestly the most difficult time in my entire life and I really thought I would never get through it. I thought it would never end. Now here we are a year later and we have definitely survived. We are as happy as we can be and it's been so wonderful to spend time with friends and family during the holidays this year. It's amazing the difference a year can make.
Okay, enough with all my mushy stuff. On Monday Camden got tubes put in his ears and had an ABR hearing test done. I know this is the most simplest of procedures but I cannot tell you how many knots my stomach was in. I could easily tell all my patients' families that it's easy peasy and their kid would be just fine and there's nothing to worry about, but when it comes to my own child it just made me sick to my stomach. I was beyond worried to have him go under anesthesia having a hole in his heart and chronic respiratory problems. It probably didn't help that my husband was just as nervous and anxious as I was. The tubes and the hearing test only took about half an hour but it felt like an eternity. The doctor came in and told us that everything went really well and that he had fluid in his ears so they went ahead and drained them and then put the tubes in. Then the audiologist came and talked to us and told us that everything looked perfectly normal on the ABR. So for now we know that he does not have any hearing loss and I'm hoping with the tubes that he will now start to "talk" a little bit more. Carter insisted on coming with us because he couldn't stand to be away from his little bubba. He was not happy at first when they started taking Camden back to put him to sleep. He's such a protective little guy!
When they brought him back to us in recovery he was pretty drowsy but he was fine and so we left maybe 10 minutes after he came back. It was all super quick. The rest of the day he did great until night time came. That night he kept choking in his sleep, he couldn't breathe, and he woke up puking a couple of times. I guess it was just a reaction to the anesthesia because the next morning he was fine. Then later on that next afternoon he started to get sick with a cough, runny nose, and upper airway congestion (his usual). So, now he has been sick for the past couple of days and I don't know if it has to do with the procedure or if it is just all coincidence. Hopefully it won't last long. I know it's winter time and he will get sick, but when he's getting sick every few weeks it gets kind of tiring. He wasn't even sick this much last year after I brought him home from the hospital. Breathing treatments, keeping him home out of the cold, and lots of snuggles will have to do. I'm sure this crazy weather in Texas doesn't help. It was 80 degrees yesterday, and now it's sleeting and 29 degrees. That is Texas weather for you!
Other than that there is not much else going on. We have a couple of doctor's appointments and of course we are busy just because of the holiday season, but I'm so blessed and thankful that we are not in the hospital and we can enjoy this time as a family at home this year. I know not everyone is able to do this. Camden's little friend Evan is not so fortunate and is in the hospital right now and will be having open heart surgery for the third time next week. He will most likely be spending his 1st birthday and second Christmas in the hospital so please keep him and his mommy in your prayers.